Last night was interesting. Went to several halloween parties. A friend and I dressed as her parents, and it was fun. The whole night was just kind of odd. There was this huge group of us who all went to the first party together and I was having a good time dancing and dancing and all that jazz. I didn't know very many people, but that's never bothered me before, but about half of the group I was with didn't know anyone and wasn't having fun, so they wanted to go to another party.
    I obliged and went along, and we ended up at this guy's house. He had wassail and a bonfire and old records to groove to. It was a good time, but in a different way. My "wife" got rather plastered and depressed, so I walked her home. The stars were visible in the sky and people were running around whooping and hollering and here we are strolling down the cracked sidewalk. She enumerated about her problems and I listened and held her steady. We made it back to her place, I let her in, she curled up on her couch, I talked to one of her room-mates for five minutes or so who just about to go out) and then I biked back to my room. The whole affair, the whole evening, was interesting. Yay for first collegiate halloween experience!
    Today I'm going to be going with two friends to look at a house. It's three miles from campus and six-hundred a month, so I'm not sure it'll be a perfect fit, but I went by yesterday and really liked the outside. And it's in a nice neighborhood.
    Then on actual Halloween there's going to be a party, and there'll be this guy there that could be interested in me. So that'll be interesting -- we'll see what happens, hah.

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I'm going to take German. This means I'm going to be studying three languages at once, and instead of really freaking me out this excites me to no end! And I may have found the perfect major for me -- the Romance Language major (or something like that). Basically you have a concentration in two romance languages, and then generally you minor in another (or at least that's what I'm going to do). So my concentrations will be in German and Spanish, and I'll minor in Japanese. Then I can get my teaching certificate (through the MEA program here) and voila! I'm still unsure of whether I want to teach or not, but I do know I want to study abroad sometime and teach English in Japan after college.

Yay for slowly developing a plan! It's getting there. I'll write a little better update later. For now I'll leave you with something I wrote for extra credit...

They sat, they lay, and prostrated themselves
on the car as the night filled up the sky.

They all talked and yammered about
each other, the future, the past, love, the opposite.

They enjoyed the other’s company
as the stars turned on and the evening
marched forward.

The laughter filled their chests,
hurt their sides – healed their hearts.

They all needed to pick themselves up
and prepare for the oncoming years

Of being thrown into the world
away from comfort and safety

The unknown could eat them alive,
but

They will always have each other
To call on, to write to, to complain with

Our homes aren’t stationary bungles
Rooted to the ground

They are anywhere, they are
Wherever our friends go –
bundled up in their
heart strings.

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My day has been enjoyable and frustrating all at the same damn time.

My morning was fine. Had two classes; watched a majority of Crash in one of them, and took notes in the other one. I actually really enjoyed East Asian Civ II today because we learned the various (twenty-two, actually) provinces of China and it set my heart a flutter when the teacher (a native chinese woman) pronounced them and provided definitions for the names! It was awesome and has really sparked in me an interest to study another foreign language besides Japanese and Spanish.

This is when a first part of the frustration sets in. I'm majoring in Spanish right now, but I don't really want to be. It was never my intent to major in Spanish -- I just did it for the scholarship money and because I couldn't major in Japanese. Maybe I shouldn't be worrying about this now seeing as I have to get through all the general crap anyway, but eh. It bugs me because I want to (a) add another foreign language to the mix and (b) not be classified as a spanish major, but (c) still be majoring in a foreign language, preferably Japanese, but that's not possible! Though I could 'make my own major' (I've forgotten the exact wording now) and incorporate these elements. This basically all boils down to me needing to talk to my advisor. Otherwise I'm going to continue to be frustrated.

So then this evening I had my first tutoring session with my Japanese tutor. They're group sessions so there were two other people there with me. One of them is a girl (a friend) who is in the same boat as me -- took Japanese in high school, and is currently not being challenged. Anyway, so the tutor knew what he was talking about in regards to the language, but we ended up just playing a hiragana (one of the three writing systems) card game and then sprouting out the plain forms of verbs he would name off. Needless to say, it was horribly easy. But I felt bad because the other girl (not my friend) needed the review and assistance, so I didn't speak up. I just hope tutoring sessions won't always be this dry, but that's all I'm expecting now since I can't forsee myself needing any help just yet. So that made me tremendously frustrated with the whole Japanese program here. GAH.

Now, on the flip side, I had a lovely time this evening at the first meeting of the Spanish Club. Mainly because I met a Japanese foreign exchange student and we exchanged phone numbers! We're going to get together sometime to speak Japanese and just talk. I'm looking forward to it, and also the social atmosphere of the spanish club seems nice.

Today has just been a bunch of highs and lows and I'm kind of wore out. I took a bike ride on the dark streets and that helped. Maybe sleep well is as well.

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Hay, and sunshine

Look, a photo!
This was taken when a friend and I went exploring in the countryside around my college.

Zorro and I are not committed to each other, but we both still like each other. He's on the fence for a variety of reasons and I understand that and am giving him time (but not too much time -- I don't wait around forever, but I have a lot of patience).

But anyway, I just wanted to share something I wrote.

Everyone sits around
on all the chairs--
submerged in all the nooks
they all make gestures in the air,
little jerks of emotion with
their fingertips

Barbie sits across from Andy
smoking her slims
blowing gray out her nostrils
Barbie watches Andy through
the hazy screen of her
depleted breath

Andy ticks and squirms
bites his lower lip
shuffles his hair
glances over,
down,
away.

Barbie's lips smile
as she kills her smoke--
crushing the embers as she
walks over

Andy glances up
Barbie's grinning lips part
She says,

Hi, and it goes from there.

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So, I'm staying up at college for Labor Day Weekend, and it's funny walking through the halls right now because everyone's alarms are going off (as if they were going to school, you know). I just find it amusing.

I'm doing laundry right now, and it's amazing. I love clean clothes and clean sheets. The weather is slightly overcast and the morning conveys this calmness that's really awesome. I'm so relaxed right now.

What else must get done today...

1) While the laundry is going I'll continue to knit.
2) Pick up a book for a friend.
3) Trip to Wal-Mart
4) Start paper.
5) Maybe go on a bike ride?

That's really all I want to put on my plate for today. I'm excited about this weekend. YAYAY.

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So, I finally find some time to wrangle a post together. Mmm. (psst can anyone guess what song my title comes from?!)

I'm not going home for labor day weekend. My mom isn't real happy about that, but there isn't much she can do. I promised to call her on sunday for a long talk. Yay.

This weekend will be filled with school work! And a BBQ (barbecue -- can't decide which I like typing more)! And hanging out with the man-chicken while he's here.

YES. That means that I have myself a boyfriend. Er, well, we're dating and taking things real slow (it's been seven days now, I think), so I don't know if I can call him my boyfriend yet. But. Being in a small college is basically like high school in regards to gossip. MAN I tell one person that I'm staying here, and that my boyfriend is also staying here and suddenly he's spending the night in my room. WHAT.  Now, not that I wouldn't mind that, but my room-mate is still here for the weekend, and that could just be awkward! Besides my boyfriend Zorro (we'll just use a fake name!) has no room-mate, so if I wanted to I could just crash over there. This is not the point I was trying to make though. The point is -- PEOPLE TALK TOO MUCH, geez.

I'm going to be more private about my love life from now on. Man oh man.

I've been biking a lot while here, but have neglected to take my camera with me on these excursions. Needless to say, I need to. Gotta make those awesome picture posts! Anyway, I really love the countryside. And am really happy to be here, and my classes really aren't bad at all. For instance -- I was assigned a four page (double-spaced) paper that's not due for three weeks. That's an insanely long time! I've going to be productive and get it done this weekend.

Alright, well. Breakfast time!

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So I've been at school since Sunday, and every day has been jam packed with stuff to do, stuff to see. I've been having a blast. Nothing very interesting has happened to me, really, so I don't have a big update. Right now I'm just hanging around my dorm room slowly getting ready for class. Today will probably be really relaxed because (besides meeting my academic advisor) I don't have a whole lot to do. Maybe I'll go to the library and read again for a little while. I really, really like the library here. I'll have to take pictures.

Hope everyone is well!

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So, here's what I'm taking to college. Please be sure to comment if I should ADD something!

Toiletries

1. toothbrush
2. toothpaste
3. shampoo
4. conditioner
5. deodorant
6. shaving cream
7. razors
8. hair brush
9. toilet paper
10. body soap
11. nail clippers
12. shower caddy
13. towels/washclothes

1. detergent
2. fabric softener
3. hamper

1. lamp
2. pens/pencils
3. ipod speakers
4. alarm clock
5. macbook
6. pencil sharpener
7. hole punch
8. tape
9. notebooks
10. extension cords
    

1. t-shirts
2. shorts
3. underwear
4. socks
5. flip-flops
6. running shoes
7. other shoes
8. fall clothing

1. sheets
2. pillow
3. comforter
4. blankets
5. mattress pad

1. RISK
2. playing cards
3. bicycle
4. cereal
5. snack food
6. pop-tarts
7. cell-phone
8. digital camera
9. man bag
10. backpack
11. knitting stuff
    

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blowing bubbles

So that's my friend zsh blowing bubbles from the blue dildo -- I mean wand (the one mentioned earlier)! We were waiting for a friend and decided to blow some bubbles. So, since I'm a picture taking fool I'll include some in this here entry!

Today, myself and two other friends played my brand spanking new version of RISK. For those that don't know what RISK is, it's a board game where you take over the world! Conquer people! Pillage! Burn! Cry because your luck sucks! I lost today, and it was a burning defeat because I didn't think I would. I just got a tad too cocky, maybe. And let Allie grow too much (curse you! I know you're reading this!). Oh well. You should all try playing RISK -- it can be a real blast, especially if you get into the gameplay. Hopefully I'll be able to get people to play with me in college. This is probably the main reason why I like places such as Facebook because I can make an event and invite people. This is much easier then having to track a bunch of people down or calling around.

Otherwise I've just been hanging out with people and continuing with my epic packing. Now I'm onto the organization of my clothes I could be really, really anal and just set out what I'm going to wear for the next couple of days and pack up all my clothes, but I don't know if I want to do that yet. I'm sure getting there though! I need to at least do all my laundry and get that all in one place. I should just make a list and check off all the things I've packed thus far. I need to be more organized about this! I need to figure out efficient ways of packing up my crap! Also, my mom got me a new bike lock, so I'll definitely be taking that baby up with me. I should have enough room.

I also went out to lunch today with Allie (man do I spend way too much time with her -- yay college friend!). We went to the Bread Co (Panera Bread to all you out of state people), and I swear there is always a cute guy working there. I always have these Bread Co crushes, and this is bad! It makes me feel lonely! This one could be gay though; he seemed like it anyway, but it doesn't really matter since I'm off to college on the twentieth! Maybe I'll just go in sometime and eye flirt with him or something. That's always fun.

This post is rambly! But I figured that's better then posting five days a day! Though I'll probably post again!

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I leave for college in nine days. I even have one of those silly count-down things on my whiteboard. Man am I cool. Other things on my whiteboard include a message from my sister (yeah, that one that lives in Japan that's really NOT related by blood) -- "You Rock Nathan", random phone numbers and e-mail addresses, and a number of definitions (including the inspiration for the title of this journal).

paroxysm [n] -- sudden outburst of emotion or action; paroxysmal being the adjective form.
I figure this is a good enough title seeing as I'm rather fond of paroxysms, and would go so far to say that my personality can be, at times, one big ol' paroxysm! (I figure if I use the word enough in one paragraph I'll remember it forever and ever. Also see: couchant, diaspora, and turgid). The word priapus is just easy to remember because it's a representation of a phallus. Who's NOT going to remember that?

So, back to the whole college fiasco (excitement). I've been organizing and cleaning my room, hooray. I cleaned out the floor underneath my bed! It was very thrilling; there was so much dust! I've also organized and thrown away a lot of crap in my desk drawers. I just need boxes now and I'll be able to actually start packing up my stuff. I've already set aside my books! Yay! Now I just have to slouth my way through a crazy array of social gatherings/good-byes/let's-see-each-other-that-one-last-time events. Seriously I'm doing something every day. I don't mind this. I just find it a little crazy.

I guess with this fancy schmancy VOX thing my livejournal will just die out. Or I can use it mainly for writing, but I could just use THIS lovely place for that as well. Next post will be a compilation of my recent pieces of poetry on my livejournal so I don't lose them.

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